How to simplify communication (for introverts)

In my last article, I wrote about the power of simplicity.

And I truly believe this is a guiding principle in good design and quality software.
But it is more than that. It can be applied, as most learnings, outside of software engineering as well.

How can I simplify communication with the people I care about?
How can I simplify my schedule?
How can I simplify my tasks and todos for the day?

A safe and connected team will deliver the software faster and with higher quality!

It truly is an art. Especially when reality gets in the way and the things to communicate become more difficult, the schedule becomes clogged, the tasks become many and tedious.

Today, let’s talk about simplifying communication.

One thing we can do, especially as introverts, is being proactive about our communication.
I’ll break it down in four steps, not three, not five, because it’s a nice twist on the LinkedIn article writing best practices that’ll still add some structure for you to enjoy!

Step 1: Check in with yourself

What do I feel? What is important to me in this situation? What would I like to create for myself, what would I like to happen? And what would that look like?

Maybe you got this feeling in your belly that has been creeping up over the last couple of days, maybe even weeks or months. Take some time by yourself to sit with that feeling. Maybe take a notepad and just start writing anything that comes out as you feel the feeling. What is the thing that has been bothering you? How does it touch on your core values and what matters to you?

Once you got this clear, it’s time to move to step 2!

Step 2: Think about what you actually want

Ask yourself the question, and start writing anything that comes out. See if you can discover any patterns, answers or desires about what you want. Which of your core values of you are not being met? Try to focus on what you want for yourself, rather than how you want others to change.

Step 3: Consider who you are communicating with

What do you think is important to the other person. Are you sure you understand them, or are you working with assumptions? Maybe you still need to ask. Can you check in beforehand when you see your colleague, team lead or friend? For example: “Hey, I’m struggling with our meetings, how do you actually feel about them as they are right now?”

In my experience, chances are you’re mostly way less alone than you think!

Ultimate step 4: Summarize it all

Do an elevator pitch! And take this with you as you go into the communication.

You might go from the following brain dump: All these meetings are so draining, it’s so annoying to me, I don’t like it, I’m not even getting much from it, everyone is just talking and discussing and it takes all my energy and I don’t like it, but I don’t know what to do, it feels hard to speak up, or sometimes I get caught up listening that I forget to say something, or it feels like I can’t, I’m tired of this and I want it to change but I don’t know how, I don’t want to offend the other people in my team, I don’t know how they would perceive it if I talk about this, is it actually ok? Should I even be worrying about this instead of just my job and code?

to something like this: I feel frustrated in the meetings. I’m not saying a lot and I’m not getting a good value out of it. Can we change something about the way we speak, so that everyone can get heard?

Summary

Simplifying your communication will create clarity for yourself, and it will make it easier for others to understand what you need. If your thoughts are flying all over the place, in the middle of a hectic sprint, it is crucial to take a step back and organize and simplify your thoughts.

In the end, communicating with your team is an essential part of the job, which not only improves your mental well-being, but a safe and connected team will deliver the software faster and with higher quality!

Do you struggle with communicating with your team members? Feel like you can’t share what you really think and feel?
This unfortunately is a reality for a lot of software engineers, and it has an effect on their mental well-being as well as productivity on the job.
I’ve been there too and overcame the fears of speaking up and the habit of balling everything up.

Now, I love to help other software engineers to find joy & confidence in their work.
If that sounds like something you need, send me a message! I’d love to hear from you.