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How coaching changed my life

·2 mins
Personal Growth Leadership Psychology
Photo by Akil Mazumder: https://www.pexels.com/photo/green-plant-on-a-person-s-hand-5550910

Some Zoom room in 2022. A small group of people have opened up and shown themselves as part of a transformational leadership training. I’m one of them.

A deep dive into my core beliefs that shape how I see the world, as well as behavioral patterns that I exert, that keep creating the same results, have created clarity and openness.

Hope that’s not too vague 😁 Here’s an example:

  • Because of [insert many reasons and situations that little Laurens experienced a long time ago], I believe that I should face my challenges alone. People don’t care and won’t help me.
  • Because I believe that I should do it alone, I don’t ask for help. I confirm my beliefs whenever I can, and I ignore opposite evidence. Or rather: I don’t even notice it!
  • Because I don’t ask for help, I don’t get help.
  • Because I don’t get help, I reinforce my belief that I should do everything alone.

We all have these cycles of beliefs and behaviors reinforcing each other. We all are pretty blind to them. It’s a protection mechanism from our dear brain.

Now what if you don’t want these results?
What if I don’t want to do everything alone?

Part of the reason why this pattern got established, is my need for deep connection not being met. Many times. For long periods of times.

But here we are, believing what we believe, doing what we do. What now?

This is where my coach came in.

Shining light on my beliefs.
Shining light on my patterns.
Not judging, but greatly caring.

The only thing she saw, was my deep need for connection. And how I sabotage myself.
And she knew I could work my way through.
She trusted that I would.

And because of it, I was able to experiment with changing my behaviors.
And because of it, I was able to chip away at my core beliefs.
And because of it, I created new results.

I’ve taken risks and jumps that I would never have taken, and my life experience has deepened as I keep growing (which is uncomfortable af btw)!

Now I have a strong support network, and have daily deep, meaningful connections with other people. Something I never would have dreamed of, just a few years ago.